Splitting up with your girlfriend brings about a multitude of confusing feelings. You might feel regret for not having behaved in a certain way, or said something that could have saved the relationship. You could feel angry and in shock – hearing an unexpected message from your ex that has completely changed your life path. Alternatively, you might have been the one who ended things and are now feeling hurt, worried that you made the wrong decision.
However you feel - and whatever the circumstances for your split - there are likely to be a lot of ways in which you can still get your girlfriend back. The ‘get her back guide’ (found at https://getherbackguide.com/) provides some invaluable tips, and this blog will help you to consider some key suggestions.
After you have broken up, it is important to attempt to put things into context so that the next, key decisions you make, are done so from the best possible place. In doing so, it can be wise to wait a few days (around 5 days) to allow your emotions to settle, prior to working out how you feel and what you should do next.
If you want to have any chance of how to get your ex back , it is important that during this 5-day period, NO CONTACT is made with your ex. If you do so, you might say the wrong thing based on the conflicting emotions you are experiencing. Rule one, therefore, is to give yourself a few days without contacting your ex, to help your feelings balance.
The 5 days gives you some space to think about a few things. There are likely to be many thoughts going through your head, but these key questions will help to focus your thinking somewhat. Firstly, how did things feel in general. Picture an average day with your partner: were you happy? Were most of your moments together enjoyable? Answering these questions will help you to consider how well-suited you really are together.
Next, when you both discussed your future together, did your plans align? Did you both want the same things? This can be in terms of family together, living situation and even longer-term plans such retirement, travelling and holidays. Could you be genuinely happy doing the things that your ex-girlfriend wanted?
These questions will help you to work out the ultimate question – why did you break up in the first place? Was it a spur of the moment, rash decision or was there some deeper problem within the relationship which was always likely to eventually surface and end things? You may not be able to answer all of these questions within your 5-day no contact period, but if you can open your mind to thinking more widely, it could help you make the next decision.
Having thought deeply about the answers to these questions, you might have realised that you weren’t suited. If, however, you cannot wait to see that person again and are eager to win your ex back, there are some steps you can take to try to get your ex-girlfriend back. And, if she hasn’t rushed into anything new and is still single, now is the time to try. How the relationship ended (and who ended it) could dictate your next steps.
If your girlfriend chose to break up with you, it is likely to be for one of three reasons. Either it was because, a) she is no longer attracted to you, b) she no longer sees you as someone she could build a secure relationship with or c) long-distance or long-term you were moving in different directions. Consider which of the three reasons it was, before making your next step.
After you have given yourself a satisfactory no-contact period (or she has contacted you first), you need to work on a strategy to get her back. Most women want a man who is confident, masculine and has a positive vibe about them (otherwise known as having ‘charisma’). It is up to you to work out how best to present yourself to your partner the next time you meet (you know them better than anyone), but it is worth working on your confidence, masculinity and having that ‘extra something’ to attract them.
Next, you need to find a way of attracting her interest without contacting her. This might seem counter-productive but there are ways that you can do this. Perhaps an interesting statement or profile update on social media? Plans to go away and do something else (that you know she would be interested in) can sometimes work. Spending some time speaking to her mates can also work (though this can be a very risky strategy if you go about it in the wrong way!)
If you have successfully attracted her interest, she might be the one who makes the next move. Either way, you now need to re-establish contact. This could be via social media, text message or a phone call; or even in person. Timing is off the essence here. Contact her too soon and she won’t have had time to miss you, or notice your attempt to attract her. Contact her too late, and she will have given up and there is a risk of moving on. Though this might seem like an impossible task, there should be a fairly lengthy window of opportunity, so strike while you think the iron is hot.
After contacting her, it might seem like you have to rush into re-joining the relationship, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. She might still be hurting from your break-up, or the problem might still be there. Take things lightly to begin with, meet up for a drink or lunch. Do not force the issue, rather it is better for you to be working on ways of encouraging her to see that she needs you back in her life. As soon as she wants a new relationship with you the task is complete, but it can take time to make her see that. Once she does, however, you will both be ready to proceed together, learning from the past to create something happy and long-lasting.
